So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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