He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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