It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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