She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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