Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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