I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
is that a dick in a sweater?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
