Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
