Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just had sex bonerless
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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