I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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