I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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