I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
