I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
