I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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