Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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