could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize