why didn't you poke me back
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize