Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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