this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
