I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
