Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
