check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
