And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
