i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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