I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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