My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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