So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
