apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
