I can text with my tongue
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize