I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
