if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is the high leading the old right now
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize