Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
