My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize