Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
