That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
