I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
this just has baby written all over it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
