I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
