p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize