Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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