That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
