in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize