They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
