so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
