Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
