OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
