Cold hands, warm shart.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
