dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
