my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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