Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
