So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm at about main and main street
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
