Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She bit a glass in half.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
