I think I am morally bankrupt
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
