she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
