I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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