am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Less talking, more tequila
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
