I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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