hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
