I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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