im gay
i know
yea but for you.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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