I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
