yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
